to my love, my life...

When I say that I want to make myself happy it doesn't necessarily mean that

I'm currently unhappy. I'm happy with our house..kids..sex life...it's just in

certain areas that I'm unhappy. I can no longer lean only on you as my one and

only friend. You will forever be my best friend my one and only soul mate. We do

so many things "right" that I cant imagine my life without you!  But the things

that we do "wrong" are tearing us apart.
 I need that friend that I can vent to about ALL things..vanilla and kink..kids

or just to wonder what the fuck is going on in your head?? I need the type of

friend that will tell me exactly what they think (not what they think I want to

hear). I want a friend that will call me on my bullshit. With women it seems I

have a hard time making a connection at all..I've told you for years that I get

along with men better than women. Plus if I was talking with another man who

just wanted to get into my pants I could see where that would be an issue.

I found a great friend in W. If anything he wants you and I together and

doing things right more than anybody else I know.And he doesn't want just into

my pants. He truly cares how I'm feeling,how your feeling and what's going on in

our lives. I wish you could look past that he's "kinky" and see him as I see

him. A kind, generous, loving person who cares for his friends greatly and

wonderfully.

I'm hoping we can work through this all...it's a whole new territory for us. I

need to spread out a little. I don't want to leave but I need some space for

me.I think we would both benefit getting a break. Maybe one night a month we get

alone time..a night with no kids no worries and no 100 questions on what your up

to. Just get away and relax!! I think it's so very important we do this. And I

mean we do this without each other as well. Get a total break from everything.

I want you to know that without you my world would be crushed. I need you like I

need to breathe. But that me needing another friend in this world isn't a bad

thing. You say I have a ton of friends yes I do...but very very limited know

about the kink and even than they are people who just really want to play with

me..not get to know me. And most live on the west coast. Yes I love chatting on

the phone with them, but there's nothing like having a friend close by that will

give you that hug you so desperately crave!

I hope this helped clear up some stuff

love you,
ME