I don't like that feeling at all. I was dreaming about my kids and I'm not sure if that triggered my crying or if it was waking up at my parents. Today is the first time I'm going more than 24 hours without seeing my kids, due to the divorce. I've left my kids before and had a couple days away but this is different. I hate that I'm in the same town and cannot see them. It's not that J has said I can't but I want to be fair and give him plenty of time to be with them.
My good friend knows how I woke up and that I'm feeling a bit down. So he's asking me about my kids. Asking about the funniest things they've done. Honestly its helping. I'm not feeling so bad. I wish I could just go home and hang out with them..but it's his day and tomorrow they are mine all day since school is out.
I was asked last night if I would start dating soon. While I answered with a "I don't know" I thought about it for the rest of the night. I think I need to be alone for a while. I'm not saying that I won't go out with friends and have a good time. But to actually date someone I don't think so. And I know as of right now...I'll never be the monogamous girl again. It's really not for me. So some might ask what about those deep feelings of needing cuddles, kisses and loving. Well I'm sure I can get those feelings filled too. I've been self loving for years what's a few more!!!
Dating? Hmm.....I don't think that is a great idea....who knows what kind of crazies are there. On a very serious note....we will need to talk about that one. See ya around.
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